And the fun of helping the kids adjust begins

I love my husband. I am proud of the work he does in serving his country. One thing to always keep in mind is that he is not the only one serving. Every day of my husband's absence I serve too and so do my sons. I am in the process of re-learning how to do this all on my own. It's seems so simple in concept. I've done this before and so have they. NOT!!!!!
The boys are older now and all the rules have changed. They are both in school which adds a whole new dimension to the experience. Children act out their emotions quite unconsciously. Obviously that is not a new concept for me, however during the last deployment I was the one who handled the tears, meltdowns, aggression, and other strange behaviors that major changes to the routine brought. Now we are at the point in their lives where the majority of their waking hours are spent in the charge of others. Now that's just great, not only are the kids acting out in an attempt to adjust to a new and scary situation that they are old enough to be aware, of but disrupting the lives and learning of others while they do it.
The funny part of it all is the I expected my oldest to struggle the most. He was the one who remembered daddy leaving last time and acted out to the point where counseling was needed. He is close to his dad and hero worships him. Kit has surprised me with his bravery and ability to hold it together in school. He is more emotional at home and prone to teary meltdowns over nothing, but I expected it and we are working on it. My youngest took a long time to reconnect with his father. He resented this man walking in to his life and telling him how it was going to be. He was rude and blatantly defiant for the first few months. It took many months but they developed their own bond and it was beautiful to watch when it finally happened. Since his dad left he sweeps through life like a tornado wrecking havoc and leaving disaster in his wake. His school performance has tanked. He's defiant, disobedient, and disrespectful. Gabe has little fear of consequences as long as he accomplished whatever he set out to do in his rule breaking. This was entirely unexepected on my end.
Living through a deployment with children is very similar to living through a divorce. As far as their concerned at this age: dad left them. We've explained all we can but can I really expect them to grasp it with their little minds. I am a grown woman and can barely get and sometimes struggle with my own conflicting emotions about the experience.
I hope when it is all said and done they will come out of all this with a sense of what it is to sacrifice, that love doesn't change when the person you care about is out of sight, and that regardles of their behavior they are loved all the time. That being said, while I feel dearly for my child and his struggle to deal with his loss, it is my job as a parent to help him to learn to control himself no matter the circumstance.I pray every day for the patience and wherewithal to stand my ground and show him both the love and firmness he needs to cope.